Ultimately, the question is how to improve the situation.  There are concrete and tangible ideas that can be followed on a practical level rather than impossible to implement ideas.  These actions can be carried out by teachers, parents, and coaches with each of these providing reinforcement of the proper goals youth athletics aims to achieve.

The teacher’s role is most difficult because the teacher is not the authority figure in athletics.  That doesn’t mean a teacher isn’t vital.  Most teachers make an effort to stay up-to-date on students’ activities during the school year, and in many cases, the summer as well.  The teacher can make comments to the young athlete complimenting the player on his hustle, his sportsmanship, and demeanor.  Rather than ask if the player won or lost, the teacher can ask if the athlete had fun or gave 100% effort during the game.  For players that start or are “heroes”, a teacher can ask that player what teammates did during the game that helped create the opportunity to score more than the opponent.  Each of these reinforces issues like participation and sportsmanship.  Best of all, this isn’t done by lecturing, but by getting the young person to think for himself on the ideas and reflect on what happened and why—a skill that down the road in high school and beyond becomes invaluable when studying homework or analyzing tough equations.

For a parent, the solution is simple, but difficult to implement for a variety of reasons.  In the end, the solution is to love your children unconditionally.  This doesn’t mean a parent should throw his influence, money, or name around to overrule a coach’s decision—that isn’t parenting, nor is it good behavior to model for children.

Parents want to see their children on the court or field rather than the bench.  Most parents though if presented with the argument “Do you want your daughter to be a success in a high school sport or successful in life?” would choose the latter alternative.

Yet rather than sit back and let the child have the experience of being on a team (and everything good and bad that goes with that), many parents intervene and confront the coach about playing time and “winning”, and if the coach doesn’t do as the parent demands, that parent then moves up the ladder to speak with the A.D. or principal or a park commissioner about the “bad” coach.  The coach is now in a no-win situation as are the players.  If the parent’s child is improving and getting more playing time, now the athlete receives no credit—it was the parent’s doing.  Worse still, other parents will now change their attitudes and more readily confront coaches.

Rather than take such negative actions, parents need to be positive.  Congratulate all of the players, praise them for cheering on the bench and staying focused on the game or for little things such as hitting a cut-off man or passing a basketball rather than taking a shot while covered.  Parents should take the time to explain the role of bench and role players, and how everyone plays these roles as an adult.

Coaches can improve the athletic experience for young people with planning.  Create a roster and chart out playing time so it is balanced.  During a game, this means you won’t accidentally forget a player at the end of the bench.  A coach can also write notes for each player.  This will let the coach track how a player is improving and what still needs work; many players accept harsher written criticism on paper, and in many cases, if written down, they will keep the paper and focus on improving themselves, especially if the coach provides concrete areas for improvement.

Coaches can also help during games.  Rather than use famous coaches such as Bobby Knight or Tony LaRussa as examples, youth coaches should look at their peers.  Which coaches have teams having fun?  Which coaches in grade schools have twenty or thirty players when others only have ten or twelve?  During games, the coach can talk with players on the bench and explain what he is doing or what they can watch on the court that will help them when they do go in or to help them improve so they can increase playing time as well.  A coach doesn’t have to ignore what goes wrong, but by emphasizing the positive creates a better experience, better memories, and the criticism is taken better and not tuned out when paired with positive comments.

The issue of sports and its central purposes is important in helping young people.  Adolescence and puberty are rough stages to get through and often, sports is a release from other pressures such as physical change, emotional turmoil, or family issues.  Rather than add to the pressure, adults should strive to help children learn the lessons necessary to survive and grow rather than succumb to the problems stereotypically associated with today’s young people.